


People Say Goodbye In Their Own Special Way

by thediamondskies (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Ziam Ficathon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2012-07-25
Packaged: 2017-11-10 16:56:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thediamondskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He feels angry for a moment.  Angry at himself for letting Liam do this, use him one last time.  Angry that there's nothing he can do to keep the one person he's ever truly loved all to himself.  But most of all he's angry at Liam for always bringing him to his knees.  Written for <a href="http://malabami.livejournal.com/1880.html?thread=112472#t112472">this</a> prompt over at the Ziam ficathon!</p>
            </blockquote>





	People Say Goodbye In Their Own Special Way

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to [Sarah](ruby-crowned.livejournal.com) for being a fantastic beta for me! Title taken from "In My Veins" by Sndrew Belle.

Zayn knows it's Liam before he opens the door to his hotel room. He knows it like he knows that puppy look that will be on his face when he swings the door back. Like he knows that he won't say anything when Liam surges forward, trapping his cheeks with gentle hands and pushing him into the room. Like he knows that Liam will kick the door shut and make a needy noise, and how he'll walk them backwards towards the bed because he always does.   
  
Zayn knows a lot of things. About himself, about Liam, about _them_.   
  
He knows because he's been here so many times before that he has no idea when the first time was, or the last time. They’re all one blurred memory of skin and sweat, scattered sounds of pleasure mixed with the occasional desperate kiss. No, he doesn't remember all the times before, but he'll remember this one. This one will never leave his memory.   
  
Liam tries to hide it, to act like it's just like any other time. He tries to pretend like it's not out of the norm for him to slowly kiss down Zayn's chest to his stomach, mouthing at the skin just above his sleep pants. He tries to pretend that he always pulls Zayn's clothes off him this slowly, or that he always kisses the inside of his ankles. It's a weak facade; Liam's never tried too hard to hide from Zayn, and it's exactly how Zayn knows that he _is_ hiding.   
  
But he lets it slide, closes his eyes and lets his breath hitch as Liam kisses down his inner thigh, hand sliding up the opposite leg. He lets out a strained moan as Liam sucks love bite into his skin. Tomorrow he'll look in the mirror at it, revel in the ugly, purple bruise; tonight he tangles his fingers in Liam's chestnut brown locks, pulling at him as he mouths up his dick with the kind of tender care Zayn's always wanted. Now he can't think of anything worse.   
  
Liam rubs his thumb in soft circles against Zayn's hip as he wraps his lips around his cock. He just mouths at the head at first, leaving Zayn mewling quietly above him as he tries to keep his hips still. But then he takes him down, down, farther than Zayn knew was possible, his hand wrapping around what won't fit in his mouth. Zayn gasps, forcing his eyes open as he gazes down between his legs. It's a torturous sight, the way Liam's cheeks are hollowed out and he's working _so_ hard, so concentrated. He slides off him with a wet pop, moving back up his body until he's kissing Zayn with fervor. Liam's fingers splay out over his neck, hot against his skin as he licks into his mouth. It's dirty, heady kissing that leaves Zayn whining in the back of his throat, hips softly bucking.   
  
Liam reaches out towards the side table, grabs the little bottle of lotion sitting there, before leaning away from Zayn for a just a moment, returning with a shiny silver package. Zayn lets his eyes slip shut then, whimpering when Liam's cold fingers slip inside. He feels angry for a moment. Angry at himself for letting Liam do this, use him one last time. Angry that there's nothing he can do to keep the one person he's ever truly loved all to himself. But most of all he's angry at Liam for always bringing him to his knees.   
  
He's lost himself in his thoughts and Liam twists his finger just right and has his hips jumping off the bed. Liam starts teasing him then, until his legs are shaking and Zayn’s trying to grab at his wrist.   
  
"Fuck me," he whimpers, biting down hard on his lip. Liam doesn't say yes or no. Liam doesn't stay anything.   
  
He pushes in; slow and sure, like everything else.   
  
Usually they're fucking. Rough, hard, quick thrusts with sharp nails and blunt teeth. But tonight Liam waits until Zayn's settled, until he's looking up at him with tentative clear brown eyes. His bottom lip quivers as Liam adjusts himself, arms holding him up as he bows his head above him. Zayn spreads his legs to accommodate him, bending them at the knee as his hands rest against Liam's sides. He can't see Liam's cock pushing into him from this angle, but he can watch as he disappears and Zayn can suddenly feel it in his stomach and it makes him tremble as he arches his back, gasping for air.   
  
His eyes lock with Liam's and he can't look away, lightheaded at the sight of him. There's sweat rolling down his forehead, his hair's sticking to his face, and his lips are parted just enough to let out quiet little breaths. It occurs to Zayn then that he's the one making all the noise, that it's him keening in the back of his throat, hips desperately trying to speed up the pace.   
  
"No," Liam says. _finally_ , Zayn thinks, _fucking finally_. But then he's quiet against, just moving. He's so distant from him like this, and Zayn feels cold. He rolls his hips again, huffing as he writhes against the bed. Liam lays down on him then, heavy and solid with his weight on him; Zayn can barely move but he still tries to get his way.   
  
"C'mon, just fuck me already!" he hisses, scratching his nails down Liam's back. Liam growls, pinning his hands beside his head before thrusting up roughly. Zayn yelps slightly, eyelids fluttering.   
  
"Look at me," Liam says. It's almost a whipser, too soft to hold any malice. Zayn shakes his head, cheek pressed into the pillowcase. "Look at me," he repeats.   
  
"No," Zayn whimpers. He can't-- he can't look at Liam, not right now. Not when he knows that look that'll be in his eyes. _Goodbye_.   
  
"Zayn, _look at me_ ," Liam demands. And that's not fair. It's not fair of him because Zayn's never really said no to him, and he won't say no now.   
  
He turns his head, gazing up at Liam with hazy eyes. He can feel that he's close to crying, but he holds back. Languidly, Liam pulls his hips back before thrusting forward, burying himself inside him. Zayn lets out a long drawn-out moan, trying to catch his breath as Liam begins to grind against him. There's no space between them, his cock trapped between their stomachs, but it's on the right side of pleasant and Zayn finds himself shaking and groaning against Liam's lips.   
  
Liam cards their fingers together, squeezing his hand as he builds up his speed. It's not fast, but it's steady and deep. Zayn feels the heat pooling in his stomach making him thrash beneath Liam. He thinks, _don't leave me, don't leave me,_ and Liam looks down at him with pain in his eyes, dipping his head low enough to pull him into a kiss. He starts bucking his hips in an off rhythm, hips stuttering and Zayn knows he's almost there so he arches his back and whines, guides Liam's hand towards his cock.   
  
He does pound into him then, forcing these desperate sounds out of Zayn that he doesn't want to admit to himself he's making.   
  
" _Liam_ ," he sobs, and it's ugly and raw, the sound of a boy undone. He can feel his orgasm starting in his toes until it hits him like a freight train and he's coming all over his stomach, back curving as he cries out and Liam's still fucking into him and he can't help it when the words tumble out his mouth. "Don't marry her, don't-- oh god, please, Liam don't--" and Liam lets out a groan and stills above him, hand propped against the headboard.   
  
Liam moves away from him like he's been burned. For someone who was so sure of himself when he walked through Zayn's door, he's almost timid in the way he redresses. Zayn doesn't say anything to him. He turns on his side, away from the door as he squeezes his eyes closed tightly. Maybe if he holds them like this he won't cry.   
  
"I'll see you tomorrow," Liam says, his weight leaving the mattress. Zayn waits until he hears the door close to let out a sob.


End file.
